Guy Named Timmy

So lately I have had a ton of things running through my mind. Especially yesterday. As everyone knows today is Fathers day. So let start by saying Happy Fathers day to all the amazing Dads out there. This is one of the things that got me thinking. One year ago today I would be having the last interaction, the last conversation, the last everything with someone I hold dear to me. Someone who I consider my dad. And this person would be my Grandpa. I consider him my dad because he was. He did everything dads are suppose to do. He taught me life lesson, how to enjoy life, how to be a good person. So much can happen in a year. I didn’t know the significance of our last day together. I remember everything about that day. I spent the whole day with him. I took him to a family gathering. We sit and talked about what the future holds and just catching up because I didn’t see him for while. I am sitting here thinking if I knew that was going be our last day interacting with one another what would I have done differently? What would I have said to him? All these other questions are running through my mind. My answers were: I would spend more time with him, call him more often, ask more questions. Show him the appreciation for all the things he’s ever done for me. Its too late now. I never told him Thank you for being my dad and treating me like a son.  He ended going to hospital for stomach troubles the next day and he ended up passing a week later from a heart attack. I haven’t properly dealt with him being gone. Every time I think about him not being here I cry and then I push the hurt away. I do so because I feel guilty about not doing all that I should have for him.Im not ready to deal with the pain because when I do thats when I know he’s not back. So I must keep a promise made to him and that be to take care my grandma. My grandparents took me in and treated me like I was their own child. I owe a lot to them. So there thing that I has been thinking  about is dreams and things that are important to me.  So there was something that I dreamed about doing that I had to set a side for now to keep my promise. This dream that I put on hold was to go back college. This decesion that I put on hold was something I contemplated for a while and I cried when I came to this conclusion. So when I finally told my grandma, because she knew I got accepted, she told me to go and she will be okay. She’ll be taken care of. She told me to follow my dreams. So then I tell her school will always be there and you need me now more than ever. And I would have went if it wasn’t that far from her. She lives in Oklahoma and the school I got accepted to is in Texas. So things have changed and I’ll go back to school sometime in the near future. I miss my grandpa, I love my grandma, and I’ll achieve my dreams one day! Thanks for reading if you took to time to read this. Have a great day!